How Husbands Can Save Their Marriage

Making marriages work requires the effort of both the husband and the wife. But I believe that the husband should endeavour to put in more effort because of the position of the man of the house that he has been divinely placed. Every husband that desires to keep his home together must know enough to avoid certain mistakes. They include:

MARITAL INFIDELITY:

Marital infidelity is unfaithfulness to the marriage vows on the part of one or both partners in a marriage. Marital infidelity is the act of going out to have extra-marital sexual relations. It is a number one home breaker. Another word for marital infidelity is adultery. It is an act of indiscipline. The inability for a man to add emotional self restraint in his friendship with another man’s wife or an unmarried woman is what leads to it. Every unfaithful husband or wife is a covenant breaker. Marital infidelity begins first with either a wife or a husband, then when the other party gets to find out, he or she either seeks to revenge by going out to do the same or simply walks out of the union straight to the court of law to seek for a divorce.

Most women would tolerate a man in any other issue but wouldn’t tolerate him when it comes to marital infidelity. Men are even worse, they don’t want ton hear of it. Anyone without the required strength of character to maintain their integrity and remain faithful to their spouse irrespective of tempting situations should not bother to go into marriage. However, men can avoid this pitfall by taking the following steps;

·       Avoid situations that will keep you in the same room alone with any member of the opposite sex who is not your husband or wife.

·       Know the limits of your friendship with any member of the opposite sex. Avoid becoming intimate with a woman that is not your wife. If you have to travel away from home for a long time, see how you can go with your husband or wife.

·       Make your wife your best friend and lover.

INSENSITIVITY TO YOUR WIFE’S NEED:

The stability of your home is your top priority as a husband. Therefore you must be very sensitive to wife’s need because she is your partner in the home building work. Needs here includes emotional, financial, psychological or material needs. Sensitivity to her needs means letting her know verbally that you’re aware of her inner feelings and going the extra mile to meet the ones that you’re position to meet. Make her feel at all times that she has a man in her life. There is no issue too small or too big to talk about. Many issues that break up most homes and relationship have been ‘boiling’ in the background so to say but none of the two people in the marriage or relationship acknowledged it and dealt with it appropriately. Suddenly, it becomes too big to contain and it pulls the marriage apart. Sensitivity means communicating with each other so as to come to an agreement whenever you sense a silent disagreement between the two of you. An unsettled issue in a marriage is like flowing water that gradually erodes a structure until it suddenly gives way and collapses. The structure should be reinforced speedily before damage is done.

ALLOWING INTERFERENCE BY NEAR RELATIVES:

The success of any marriage depends primarily on the couple, every other factor is secondary. Your relatives may want you two to get married but if there is no mutual agreement between the two of you it just will not work. And in the same way, your marriage will succeed if both of you are determined to make it succeed.

There is an extent to which a husband should tolerate the interference of his near relatives or his wife’s in the issue of his marriage. The husband should be the decision maker and not his own relatives. In as much as it is proper for a wife to give due respect to her in-laws, her husband should not shirk his responsibility of defending her in case she is being attacked by them. Protecting her however is not to take sides with her, but to be wise enough to keep his home intact even as he stands to broker peace between his wife and relatives.

WIFE BATTERING:

Some women could be very saucy and sarcastic. But I am of the opinion that they should be tolerated. Many women talk faster than they can think, so when they find themselves in the presence of men who are quick to strike before they think, they receive blows sooner than they expect. Every wise husband realises that a sarcastic woman is not cured by battering except you’re simply seeking her death. She may be dying but she won’t stop raining abuses on you. The most effective way to deal with such women is to allow the heat to die down and then gently talk sense into her without raising your voice or your hand. The only way a man can stay married to such a woman is to focus on her good qualities; the nicest part of her characteristics while overlooking her sauciness or rudeness.